Trapped by choice inside the four walls, I gaze out the window.
Ah, such a beautiful night!
Grace me with a different life and I will use night to bask in the moonlight.
Are these stars God’s gift to me, I wonder.
For they are the closest to gems I will ever get.
Perhaps he doesn’t hate me as much as they say.
Perhaps I’m not tainted as much as they say.
My body still pains from when they kicked me out of God’s home.
The only comfort the sanctuary I made for him.
I sold my soul to the devil when I sold my body, they say. Prayers should suffice for survival, they claim.
Oh! How I wish mother had told me that before she succumbed to starvation.
How I wish I hadn’t been selfish enough to crave life.
Does he really hate me as much as they say?
Am I really tainted as much as they say?
Who is a White Knight? Even craving an ordinary love is painful.
Will I never be loved?
Will I never get to love?
Heart so bruised with a clear body, body so tainted but a heart untouched.
A curse that won’t end with my end for, they say, the gates to paradise are not for me.
Perhaps he does hate me as much as they say.
Perhaps I am tainted as much as they say.
Let it end, please.